Red Flags

Hello, amazing people of the internet! Welcome to my 2nd post of the #SingleAF series! Special news today! The blog address slightly changed, hope it's not an issue for anyone, everything should be working fine, but, if not, please let me know.

Gosh, I am going to get so much heat for this post I almost want to leave it as a draft for good. But no, not this time, this one deserves to be published. My fellow men need this, sorry lassies, this post is not targeted at you. However, it might just be helpful for everyone.

Oh, there's a wee bit of cussing - just a few words - in this post, be warned!

Mates, let's face it, we all get our hearts broken sooner or later. Even if you try your best, if you love with all your heart and you are willing to do everything for your special someone, sometimes it's just not enough. Trust me, I know all too well. Thing is, as much as I'd like to tell you it's not your fault, actually it just might be, why? Cause she probably showed you some red flags you didn't see, or didn't want to see, or, if you're a complete wanker - like me -, you chose to let by because you thought could deal with it. Bloody idiot me.

In a nutshell, meet the girls that will break your heart.

The Attention Whore

We have all met this one, you know? The one that spends more time uploading pictures on Instagram than living life, the one that sees the world trough the lenses of her phone camera. At first, it's amazing, no denying that. You're the hot news, all the attention is yours, and you, in turn, give her all yours; not a single pic is good enough without both of you in it. The hard truth? You won't be the hot news for too long, and you won't be enough; she'll need something - or someone - else to keep the attention on her. Plus, at some point you won't be able to give her all your attention, and it'll bite you. It will end, bad. Guaranteed.

Pro-tip: If the food gets cold while she takes pics for her social networks, run. Oh, works if she considers herself an Instagram model too, bloody hell, run faster then.

The Gold Digger (or the Cheap AF)

This one is why your friends call you a sugar daddy, probably her friends call you that too, hell, maybe she does. You know the drill: she never pays for anything - doesn't even pretend to reach for the bill -, you buy her fancy things and she conveniently always seems to be financially alright to buy things for herself or hang out with her friends but never for things that include you. After all, daddy has money, right? I'm a little worried I have to tell you to get the bloody hell away from this one, but I have been there. Run, mate, it's all lies, run. Bonus if she complains every day about not having money. Bonus if she expects you to pay things while you're just going out. Run.

Pro-tip: Since you are basically going to pay for sex, might as well hire a professional. You could learn something new - new moves always help -, you don't have to care about her, there won't be any perfectly timed headaches and it will be cheaper in the long run. Go pro.

The Ugly Duck

Oh, this one is tricky. This is the one that was a totally unfuckable minger all her young life. The anime-freak wouldn't even gaze at her, the creepy school janitor puked in her presence. You might think "hey, now she's somewhat hot" and believe she must be a nice lass to hang with cause she knows how hard life can be and such. Wrong. This one is messed up, she's trying to get back at life. She's probably a glorified 6 that thinks she's a solid 9. Run, mate. This one has the potential to trick you in a long-term relationship that will leave you absolutely messed up while she sluts around.

Pro-tip: Check her old pics on Facebook. If she used to be a 4- and it's now a 6+, don't deal with that bullcrap.

The Pathological Liar

Gosh, I must admit I love this one. If anything, it's exciting to try to figure out if she's lying to everyone, everyone but you, or just you. You've seen it. She lies to everyone, about anything, without a reason even. It comes as second nature to them. Truth is a concept they didn't learn. Good parenting there. You might think she's only lying to her mum about where she is while out with you; or to her friends when she talks crap behind their backs with you and then tweets how much she loves them and how her life would be meaningless without them. Face the truth, she also lies to you, with the same ease. Buh-bye!

The Cheater

I don't believe explanations are needed. She cheated on her ex, maybe even with you. Kudos. Hit that and run, she's not a keeper. If she did it to him, she'll do it to you. "People change"? Sure. Are you willing to be her trial period? Why not enjoy that after she changes, then? Save you some heartbreak, mate. Bonus if she went out with both of you guys for a while.

Post break...

Remember how I said I could write a whole post trashing her? * Wink * Check that one here.

Post continues...

A Friend's Ex

I'm gonna cut around the bushes here. I just did this. And I regret it deeply. There is simply no way this can work. You are having you friend's sloppy seconds. Period. Now, there are some billion other women out there, pick the sloppy seconds of someone you haven't cried together with. Shame.

Final Thoughts

It's quite easy, if you see any of these red flags. Run away before it's too late. It isn't worth a broken heart. Fine, maybe ignore one red flag. But that's it! Do not ignore 5 red flags!!!

- Shit happens, don't look at me like that, don't judge me! I made a boo-boo, alright!? -

Heartbroken? All I can say is, it will pass. I guarantee that. And she will get hurt and will remember what she gave up on. Cause you're awesome, cause you're here. Go on, spread that awesomeness around the world!

Thanks for reading this post, guys (and girls, maybe?) Hope you enjoyed it, learned from it. I know a ton of hate is incoming, fear not, I'm ready.

And, to finish this post, I'm in love with this song, enjoy!