Vikings: A New God

Hello, fellow readers! After almost 2 years - my bad -, it's time for another Vikings review! As, usual, there will be spoilers up to and including Season 5 Episode 13: A New God, so don't keep going if you are not yet up-to-date!

God Ivar, the Boneless?
By Odin! So much has happened since last I talked about Vikings, and I think one of the biggest reasons I never felt quite compelled to doing this again - besides being otherwise occupied - was that i wasn't enjoying the show quite as much as I used to, and a big part of that was the absence of Ragnar, something the show hasn't quite yet been able to fix.

Last season - mid-season, whatever, Episode 10 of Season 5 - did something that was much needed, it trimmed down the "main cast" a lot. We said goodbye to a bunch of characters that never felt like they had a clear purpose, most of them were there just to offer moral support to the main ones, and they started tog et annoying. Of course, there were some, like Halfdan (King Harald's brother), that got trimmed down after actually becoming their own interesting character, a shame. The point is, it was a sort of "reset" for the show, and I, alongside many others, felt like we were finally going to have our show back, we did not. Vikings has suddenly become a poorly written soap opera.

Let's start with something far too obvious, Ivar was always shown to be a very cunning guy; we see him outsmart seasoned warriors in battle tactics, and make his way, unexpectedly, to the top of the chain of command, while his brothers were watching, older brothers, with more rights to be leaders than him. Also, we were even shown Ragnar acknowledge Ivar's wits. Well, Ivar knows he can't bear children, and yet he seems to believe Freydis when she claims she is having his child, and that he is a God for he managed to do so, despite not being able to. I mean, someone that smart would obviously know Freydis is getting some on the side, right? Well, maybe Ivar wants to believe it, maybe he's that delusional; or maybe that's the one thing he actually has in common with Ragnar, a way to let women in their lives manipulate them, a weakness I'd say.

Hello, unnamed guy who's banging Freydis on the side!
Mate, you're the only other one who knows she's not having Ivar's child.
Run?
Now, let's jump to Iceland (where Floki is) for a minute. Again, I still have no idea why are we being forced to watch this, what's the point of this? Are we to simply witness how a bunch of randoms murder each other while Floki starts to lose faith? What for? This seems like the biggest waste of time this show has come up with, including basically losing of one of the most loved and well-played characters this show has ever had.

And talking about amazing characters simply gone for no reason, Lagertha seems to be joining Floki and Rollo - he had a small come back 2 episodes ago, but it felt like it was the last we would see of him - in the limbo of still-alive-but-no-longer-awesome Vikings. No longer Queen, she seems to have also lost both her charm and her will to fight, I'm sorry, but our Lagertha was never one to give up on herself after a loss. She's now relegated to moral support - and milf consort - of everyday-crazier Bishop Heahmund.

One look and they all fall for him.
Doesn't happen to me.
It's time for Björn. Always pussy-focused, we've seen Ragnar's - or Rollo's -eldest son conquer a plethora of women's hearts, and then dump them for reasons beyond understanding (Thorunn), passing them to his brothers (Torvi) or, well, they die after being present for a whole whopping 2 episodes (whatever her name). Nowadays, he seems to have a thing - including taking her maidenhood - for King Alfred's brand new wife, Elsewith. Why? Who knows! Because. I mean, it's not like they're depending on Athelstan's son's good graces to keep breathing or anything. Oh, wait, they do. In any case, we all know Björn, much like alleged father Ragnar, has a tendency to screw up when the ladies are involved.

Harald finally left Ivar's side after being mistreated quite a lot for an ally, so he decides to go back to his original plan of being King of Kattegat, in order to do that, he goes back to York, to try and convince fellow Vikings to betray the now-God Ivar; but not before raiding what's left of Wessex. Basically, this means we might see Harald face Björn, Lagertha and co. again. Speaking of them, Ubbe and Torvi became Christians to reinforce Alfred's power, which Björn didn't quite like; alone and bitter, the later is approached by Magnus, who falsely claims to be his brother - quite unsure whether or not Magnus actually knows the truth, for Ragnar himself claimed he never had sex with Queen Kwenthrith - and together seem to plot against King Alfred. Björns really not making his life any easier.

I hope they actually go somewhere with this...
Heahmund is pardoned for murdering Bishop Cuthred in his Cathedral on the base of giving his word that said Bishop plotted to murder the King and offering no proofs nor naming any of the alleged Lords also supporting the plot, which is ridiculous! He know seeks to find these other Lords while reinstated as Bishop of Sherborne - will widow Ordlaf show up again, problems for Lagertha? -, we are also clearly shown that Aethelred is actually part of the plot against Alfred, much to Heahmund's suspicions. I love the days when this show actually surprised us with such things, not just gave them away.

Buh-bye?
Finally, back in Kattegat, crazy now-God Ivar decides murdering one brother and trying to kill another two is not quite enough, he's now set to sacrifice an extremely bitter - and very boring character - Hvitserk, who Odin knows why decided to stay alongside his mad brother after everything that has happened, after seeing the way Harald was treated, after Mr. Boneless had his beloved - and insane - Margrethe killed. Plus, he is also one of the few left that knows for a fact Ivar can not bear a kid. I never liked Hvitserk, I never cared for him; now he's just going to be another Sigurd, another support character for Ivar's madness, like we needed more of that.

I told you to run...
That's it, folks! Sorry for the delay, yesterday was a bit crazy. It's good to be back with these reviews, see you next week! Totes of love! Spread the love, sharing is caring!