Game of Thrones - The Spoils of War

Isn't it fun that Spoils of War was the first time in a long time someone could actually SPOIL an episode for you? After a cyberattack on HBO, the fourth episode of the season was leaked to multiple torrents sites. Big fan of GoT as I am, couldn't wait to watch it, so I did. In fact, that's the only reason I'm publishing this review SO early.

My new job has been keeping me rather busy lately, so I missed the last 2 episodes' reviews. Yet, in truth, I really didn't want to do them anyway. After the season premiere - the one I like to call "The Costume Parade" - came 2 hours of slow, boring, seemingly endless conversations, with a wee bit of action. Yes, I know, a couple "aww" moments, and some disgusting and fun bits, sure, but, in general, boring and slow. After 2 episodes, ones that were promised to be so incredibly amazing they'd feel like a whole season each, all we got was Daenerys losing the 2 armies she got last. She was losing the war against Cersei, bad.

Arguably, the most important of this season has been the Iron Bank, once supporters of Stannis, they decided it's time to get their money back, and the Iron Throne (really, are there no more metals in the Known World?) owes em' A LOT. We've been hearing that since the days of Robert Baratheon, back in season 1. So, Mycroft Holmes (Fine! Tycho Nestoris, but if you tell me you knew that name, and not his role on 'Sherlock', you're a big fat liar) visits Cersei and asks for the debt to be paid. Uh-oh!

The Lannisters have no more gold, their mines have run dry and Casterly Rock is next to worthless. We learned that in... Season 3? 4? Idk, Tywin said so to Cersei. So, the only House with a healthy gold amount are the Tyrells of Highgarden. I hope this was something Dany and Co. didn't know, even tho Varys is supposed to know EXACTLY that sort of things, cause otherwise you'd got to be stupid to have left Highgarden so open to an attack. Jaime and Bron, with help from the Tarlys, stole their gold and killed my favorite character, the Queen of Thorns. The crown can pay its debts, if the gold makes it there.

And so episode 4th began. Jaime is moving the gold to King's Landing ASAP, but there's also lots and lots of grain that need to make it there. Even if they pay the Iron Bank, without food, people won't be happy. With the long winter to come, food will soon be much more valuable than money.

Meanwhile, the last Targaryen is making an uproar in Dragonstone cause she's losing the only fight she's ever fought against proper, seasoned armies, and, not only that, what seemed to be the perfect team of advisors is turning out to be a dummy parade. Can somebody get Jorah here? Quickly, now! The crazy inside suggests her, once again, to ride the dragons and burn everything (Mad King much?), but Jon Snow - who seems to be losing more layers of clothes each episode - convinces her otherwise. Still, she decides it's time to showoff Drogon! And the Dothraki, you guys remember the Dothraki? There's a shitload of em'!

The Dothraki Horde and Dany - riding Drogon - attack the Lannister caravan heading to King's Landing by surprise! Bad news? The gold already made it there, so support from the Iron Bank in the shape of the Golden Company, the largest, sexiest and most golden mercenary company in Essos, is to be expected. The Dothraki, tho, made good on the premise of being the most amazing force in open fields, they wiped the Lannisters and the Tarlys, who were on the run as soon as Drogon fired it's first fire-breath. That was hardly a fight.

Then, another very stupid thing happened, Daenerys made Drogon burn and destroy every single grain cart in the caravan, I mean, WHY!? You could've just stopped them, you fool! There's no food in Dragonstone, we know that much from a lot of Ser Davos/Stannis lines, you need to feed your armies! Plus, that food was gonna feed King's Landing, not just Cersei and the Lannister army. You decided not to burn the whole place to the ground, but instead are making sure they'll starve to death. Kudos on not making sense, again. Has she ever?

Putting that aside, the fight was amazing, Drogon was amazing, gorgeous, proving that they're not inmune was very good too, cause Dany will have to be more careful from now on, Cersei probably has King's Landing surrounded with those big crossbows - from The Hobbit (woops!) - by now. Jaime riding towards Daenerys, thinking he can end the war with a single stroke oh his lance, while Tyrion claims how much of a fool he is for trying that, was epic! Sadly, Bron saved his ass, he deserved to die there, painfully burnt. Hopefully, he'll drawn in that surprisingly deep lake... I mean, they fell just next to the lakeside yet he was sinking for about 30 seconds there. If he makes it, I hope he's the one to kill Cersei, when she grows even more insane, but he still has to die after. You won't find any love for Jaime here.

Now the Lannisters have no army, except for the few that were carrying the gold and were already at King's Landing and the survivors crazy enough to want to go where those Dragons are going next. Cersei has still the City Watch, whatever forces remained there, the Queensguard and Qyburn's crossbows, maybe some more wildfire? We'll see. Oh, and Euron's fleet. Things are getting even now.

What will come next? I hope it's time for Euron to pay, because King's Landing must be the last part of the season, and, hopefully, we'll get to see the infamous Golden Company as well, even if it's as enemies of Dany & Jon.
I'll give this episode a 9.5/10, cause it was amazing, except for the logic of Daenery's actions, but that's just who she is, a kid with, still, much to learn, and very little time to do so.

Oh, and... Don't download torrents, that's bad.

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