Breakups. | Tips to Heal

Hello readers! Welcome to another post with life tips! This time: breakups. Breakups suck, it doesn't matter if you're the one ending it or not, it doesn't matter if you've only been dating for a couple months, or if you've been married for many years. Breakups suck.

Disclaimer: I recently broke up with my gf, and I didn't want to blog about this because I was afraid to give the wrong impression, nor I wanted to hurt anyone's feelings. It's important for me to make clear that this post is for those out there looking for tips to heal from a breakup faster, or at least not to make it take longer than needed be.

This isn't me telling you to break up, nor to stay together, nor to go back to your SO. That's a very personal decision that you must make yourself, and, whatever way you choose to go, all I can do is wish you good luck.

Now, let's get down with this! First of all, it's important you know it's perfectly normal to feel depressed. I could go all scientist here and explain why your hormones and other chemical substances inside your brain WILL make you feel this way during and after a breakup, but that's not what you need to hear, you just need to know it's fine, it's normal. You will also experience feelings of despair, anger, sadness, lack of motivation and/or the sensation of being lost. The bottom line is, it hurts, and it hurts a lot. You were physically and emotionally invested in it, it has to hurt.

We went a little dark there, huh? I've got good news! It goes away! All thanks to a little friend called time. How much time it takes will depend, partially, on how you deal with it. If you handle it properly, it will take as little as possible. If you go down a dark path, you will become a Sith and it will take longer. "Tell me David, tell me what to do!" I won't, I'll instead tell you what NOT to do, here's the no-no list!

Drinking. I know, this one is a fan favorite, right? You break up with your SO, you want to drink until it all goes away. News for you, it doesn't help. Why? Well, drinking is sad. You start drinking, and for a while there, it gets darker and sadder than it needs to be. Sure enough, you can go past that sadness with more drinking and momentarily forget about it all, clever plan. The downside is that after those drinks and falling asleep, you gotta wake up. And you're gonna get wake up hungover, with a badass headache and feeling like crap. You'll regret what you did, because now you're not only still emotionally bad, you added a horrible stench and physical pain to it, kudos.

This one is easy for me, I hardly ever drink anyway. But I do admit sometimes the overwhelming sensations make it tempting... You know? Shut down your brain for a bit... Control yourself, love yourself, don't do it.

Needless to say, this also applies for any other "recreational" things you might feel like doing...

Isolation. You always have options. You can stay at your place, eat ice cream and watch romantic comedies starring Hugh Grant (personal favorite), thinking that could have been you, regretting it all and crying all over the place. Sounds tempting, right? No? Well, there's the other way. Go out, do something, get your mind busy, distract yourself, whatever suits you. Hang out with your buds, visit your family, surround yourself with people that will make you feel better and that always got your back. I can't stress this enough, just don't lay down on your bed thinking, thinking is your enemy right now!

I'm a gamer, and I embrace it, gaming is a very efficient way of distracting yourself. I go online and play with my buds, or hang out with my friends/family and game! When I don't feel like it, I start blogging, working out or whatever gets me busy. You've got this!

Dating. Ya, I get it, the silver lining to being single again is: being single again! It is, or actually, it will be, but not for a while. It might be tempting, perhaps there's someone that suddenly changes towards you, start being more "friendly" or something. It happens. It could happen, don't do it.

Why? You'll regret it. You are just not ready yet. You'll face mixed up feelings and chances are you're going to regret it horribly, and you don't need to add that to how crappy you feel already. There's no exact amount of time to wait, no magic formula. I'm nowhere near it, that's all I know. I'm confident whenever I'm ready, I'll just know it... Maybe our friend Ted here has a point?

That's it fellas! Don't make those mistakes and things will, as fast as they can, get better. It's a hard and painful road, and it takes a while to be over, deal with it. Embrace the pain you're feeling, use it to work on bettering you, you don't have to please anyone else anymore, at least. Work on you, hit the gym, improve a skill or learn a new one, focus on your goals. It's ME time!

And never forget the most important thing you can have: confidence. It doesn't matter why it happened, it did. Nobody knows what comes next, but you'll be ready for it, you'll emerge stronger and you'll do great. Believe in yourself. You're all awesome!

If you liked this post, if it helped you deal with a breakup or something similar, please help me by sharing it! Don't forget to comment, too! Thanks for reading!!!

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