Going to ask for a date? Dating tips!

Hello dear readers! Couple of days ago I wrote my first ever article about, well, life. It was a very interesting experience for me, and it really helped me dealing with the situation I was in, so I figured it was time to give this kind of posts a try. After all, for me, the importance of creating content is affecting someone's life for the best, making you laugh or helping you out. If you want to check that one out, here's the link.

Anyway, last week I was chatting with some friends at this sports day and, between the usual jokes and teasing, there were a couple moments of cruel honesty about relationships. Summing up, one of my buds has had this ridiculous crush on a girl for months now, and they text and talk a lot, but he has never had the guts to ask her out. Why? Well, maybe he feels he doesn't have a chance, maybe he's scared she's going to say no, I don't know, it doesn't really matter, the advice we give him works no matter his reasons: "ask her out and you'll find out". It's simple, right? Sure. But that's only step 1.

For my friend, for anyone out there in a similar position, this post is for you! From a guy who's been there, sucked at it, and learned (still learning!) the hard way.

Ask him/her out. Do it! This is basics. Muster up whatever courage you may have, or fake it for a little while, and go to the one you fancy and ask him/her out, simple as that. Said no? Move on. Made up an excuse? This one is tricky, I won't call anyone a liar, shit do happens. I guess you can try asking later. I like to be bold about it, to see if there's a mutual interest, I just leave them the next move. The answer was yes? Yay! Read on! ^^

Note: I guess you can ask via text/whatsapp/whatever. Phones are way less sexy, but much more practical. If you can, definitely do it in person, it requires more courage but it just looks better.

Where to go? Choose a place where, ideally, the 2 of you would be comfortable being at. If you know the other is not into sports, don't go to the ballpark! Yet, don't pick something you'd never do on your own, nobody likes a phony. I like going for a walk, or a coffee, keep it simple. Simple is sexy. I like to make sure to get a lot of time to talk and share, to get to know each other, so I take movies and similars out of the options list.

Well, date assured. Now, onto the pre-date preps!

Get your looks right. Short version, dress according to the place you're going. This goes without saying, please, clean clothes.

In any case, you need 3 outfits to cover most possibilities. First, the very casual, something you can wear during the day, outside, like going for a walk. Second, dressy casual, what you'd wear at night time, to go out for dinner, for example. And third, your a-game, a formal look for your classy events and such. Of course, if your date might transition from day to night, consider wearing something in between you first and second looks, and such.

Also, pick up that piece of clothing you know looks incredibly sexy on you, you know what I'm talking about, we all got one. Mine's a fit black long-sleeved shirt that makes me gay for myself when I wear it, sadly, it's not very good as my first outfit, but I do rock it as my second. Ladies out there! My personal favorite for you, a sundress. I love a girl in a cute sundress...

But it's not all about clothing! Get your personal grooming game right, too. It's easy as that. And no, I don't mean shave it all, do your own thing, but at least make sure things look even!

Improve your personality. This one is tough, requires a bit of work. We are who we are, there's no denying that, but there's always room for improving. My first advice here is to be positive. Yes, life sucks, everyone has shit to deal with, I know! Still, there's no need to suck up the happiness around, you dementor!

What do I do? I try to remind myself that no matter how crappy things are going for me at the moment, there's always someone out there who'd rather be in my place, so it must not be that bad. Give it a shot, try to be more positive, enjoy things, fake it at the beginning if you must. After a while you'll be actually doing it without noticing. I promise.

Remember this. You're interesting, you have a unique story to tell, that makes YOU special. You have your interests and things you're passionate about, don't feel ashamed about any of it, do not try to hide it. Talk about the things you love, chances are you'll have a couple in common and things will go up from there.

Also, be fun! And I don't mean the making fun of others kind, that just ends up making you a dick. Be comfortable enough to laugh about yourself, and you're golden! (Gosh, I need to work on this one...)

Insecurities? At home. This one is yet another milestone for me. The truth is that being insecure is not sexy. Stop worrying, stop asking if it's cool to do or to talk about something, stop assuming the answers will be negative. Don't ever start a line with "you probably don't want to, but..." or "is it ok if...". Be confident. If things backfire, well, at least you tried it.

Guys, is it cool if I tell you that you should do and say what you want? Hah. Nobody would read that. Do and say what you want!

Just in case, do not do or say anything inappropriate. When I say you should do and say what you want, you should, but always being respectful, to you, to your date, and to everyone else.

Listen. No, don't just wait till it's your turn to talk, listen to whatever the other person is saying and, if your memory allows, remember it. We all forget a thing or two, or mix up some information, it's cool, just embrace how crappy you are at remembering things. That's what I do, and I'm the worst. I can remember the tiniest little details, and still forget the big things everyone else knows. Yup, working on it...

Anyway, really, if you actually remember what he/she said, you get a powerful advantage. Everyone likes to hear "aww, you remembered!", at least I guess so, never happened to me xD

Eye contact. You're on a date, focus! Don't you even dare look at that stupid phone of yours, engage in the date! 100%! You're talking face-to-face? Look. At. Him/Her. EYES! But don't be creepy about it, don't stare, don't lose yourself in the you date's eyes... That's good for a song or a poem, not for a date.

This isn't an exact science, but I'd go for like 5-6 seconds of eye contact and then look somewhere else quickly, take a glimpse of your surroundings and go back, and make it look smooth! Ez.

Compliments. This is another tough one, because it can quickly go from "awww, thanks" to "ewww, pervert". As a general rule, I wouldn't compliment the other person about their body, not on the first date anyway. "OMG you've got an amazing rack" Yup, you're out.

I think it's safe to go for clothes: "cool shirt", "lovely sundress", "nice shoes". It works. Personal traits work, too. I, for instance, love when people acknowledge just how fun and clever I am. A bit of humbleness might help me a bit.

Don't sleep on this one, people! Everyone loves getting compliments, do them right and you're up for a strong start!

Well, I could write a few more tips, but I think this is enough for a solid first date. All I have left to say is: good luck out there!

If you like this post or it helped you in any way, please share it! Don't forget to leave me some comments, too! Thanks for reading!

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